Wednesday, February 27, 2008

When is this going to end???




It is almost March!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

There it is, six years of work.



If you ask me, I want to burn the whole damn thing! haha. I am so sick of looking at them right now.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

This song is for Edison Chen....



It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It's finally done, well, sort of!

After two months of non-stop writing, my thesis is finally done and is ready to be sent out! Now it is just the waiting ...for three months...until the day of the thesis defence. I am just happy that I don't need to see the damn thing for at least three months!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

A life of no-talking

I used to be quite amazed when I heard someone who took a vow not to speak for, say, a year or so for religious practice. How can one even survive without going nuts if he or she is not allowed to communicate with anyone? Isn't human interaction essential for sanity?

In this age of computer wizardry, I think the vow of no-talking can actually be achieved quite easy. I am personally doing this right now, well, without even taking a vow. Since I am writing my thesis at home everyday for the past two months, I have reduced my talking to minimal without even trying. For example, the last time I have talked with anyone was, I believe, last Thursday, which is four days ago. Before that, I barely spoke with anyone (perhaps one or two telemarketing person).

Then of course, I "chat" on line, msn, emailing..things that technically should not be included as "talking" but in theory it is the same as talking. Those are, after all, exchange of ideas, which is the reason why we talk. And I think my sanity is kept because of these alternate routes for communication.

Or is it the same? I think there is still a difference between talking verbally and talking using a computer. One simple and obvious distinction is the ability to correct your thoughts before hitting the "enter" key. This obviously is difficult to achieve when you talk verbally. So does that mean mistakes won't be made if we all talked via computer? Not necessarily, as another obvious differences is that subtleties such as facial expression and body language is lost when we communicate by a machine. The use of emoticons, however, has alleviated this problem somewhat, so you will know I am just joking about you gaining weight if I put ;-) at the end of the sentence.

Those are obvious differences that even a kid knows. But what I am thinking is, are there any psychological differences when we "speak" through typing compared to using the mouth and tongue? After all, I am sure the area of the brain that control typing is different than those that control the vocal cord/mouth. Now that I have reduced talking to minimal, I realize that there is a certain pleasure in talking verbally. Not the face to face part (I use video msn which is almost face to face anyway), but the mechanical use of my mouth/vocal cord/lungs. There is something organic to it, which cannot be replaced by typing. I can't really pinpoint what exactly it is (maybe a longer time of no-talking will help?). An fMRI study in this will be kinda cool, actually (if someone is willing to give funding to study in such a trivial matter).

Actually, it may not be trivial. This may shed some light in the evolution of human speech. Out of so many ways for communication, vocal communication is favoured by natural selection. I mean, we could have communicated by say gestures and signs. There must be some inheriting advantage in using the vocal cords/mouth compared to using hands etc for communicating, not just because of something like the effectiveness of vocal communication, but rather the sheer satisfaction in using those little muscles in our mouth.

Well, I am almost done with my thesis writing, so I will soon be able to enjoy these little excitement every time I talk to someone!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

A waste of web-space

So I was curious as to who got the "cool" blog name. Something like eric.blogspot.com, or ericcheung.blogspot.com (similar to mine, but I like that one better). In contrary to my expectation (perhaps I am a bit naive), most of these sites are either a place-holder for "sale" (which disgusts me) or the blogger abandoned them a long time ago. I believe those are the first generation bloggers, and after a while perhaps most of them got discouraged, or do not find a need to blog anymore.

This is somewhat discouraging, especially to a new blogger like me.

It has already been a year?

This blog has just passed its one year mark! I can't believe it is a year already and I have less than 12 entries in this blog! Well, I was away quite often last year, for post-doc interviews and for famliy stuff back in Hong Kong. Not to mention I am writing my thesis (almost done!) all the time so whenever I have a chance to take a break, I force myself from the computer and get some fresh air. Anyway, I think after some experimentation with Chinese, I am going to stick with English for this blog. It is just easier and faster. I feel a bit ashamed by this because I really want to write in my first language. Until I get myself a good chinese input software I will continue to write in Chinese.

Another thing I have been thinking about is, should I advertise my blog more openly? Right now I think no one is reading this so my blog is almost like my own diary. Diary in this age seems a bit silly (I doubt if anyone is keeping a diary now, at least people at my age). I don't want to give myself any pressure-if someone else is reading this I may be panicking about grammar, content, update more often, etc. So I guess I will just let things go by their own course, and if someone else is reading this, so be it.