Snagging a sugar mama?
HONG KONG, China —
It appears Lisa Johnson Mandell has struck a chord.
The number of reader responses to my original post has nearly matched the 100 paid participants to her recent workshop in Hong Kong on “How to Snare a Millionaire.”
The overwhelming response online – which makes for fascinating reading — has been akin to this from “Dee”: “I’d hate to be desperate enough to chain myself to a millionaire through marriage, in a hope of finding security other than one I could just as easily provide for myself.”
But a few of the writers – and some of my male colleagues – have wondered about the reverse. “The recession has caused more men to lose their jobs than women,” Mandell told me. “I anticipate a lot more men looking for sugar mamas.”
So, in the interest of fair play, here is her advice for finding a female white knight. Men, she says, need to follow similar rules:
Be eye candy. “Cougar is a popular term,” she explains. “Sometimes you know they have had their starter husband and they’re tired of the guy on the same footing who wants the younger hotter woman. They want somebody who is young and hot themselves.”
Be a good listener. Apparently, women like to air their grievances. “It’s called ‘baggage dumping’,” she says.
Be her caretaker. “He needs to be the one who can do things for her that she can’t do herself,” Lisa says. “Those things are different for men and women.”
Don’t talk about money or children. Don’t discuss problems, period, she says. Not until the sixth date — or the sixth month if you can wait.
Don’t talk about ex-lovers. “SUCH a no no,” Lisa says. Otherwise, she explains, you might be inadvertently sending the message that you are not yet over your previous (possibly plebian) honey.
Trying to snare a millionaire is a practical tactic to survive the recession, Lisa told me, for both men and women. In addition, she believes the financial strategy could just save your marriage. “Fifty percent of all marriages break up because of financial issues,” she reasons. “I see nothing wrong with starting a marriage without that particular hurdle. I mean, you are starting out with better odds.”
That is, unless the couple starts to bicker over how to spend those millions. As “Kennedy” writes: “Okay, well after the marriage, what are the do’s and don’t’s for keeping and/or maintaining the millionaire?”
That’s the million-dollar question for all couples.